For many people, "til death do us part" is something they take extremely seriously. From the engagement to the wedding ceremony and the marriage as a whole, they put their all into making it work. But what happens if it's just not meant to be? These people have shared their stories online, outlining the exact moment they knew they'd made a mistake and married the wrong person. Some even realized this before they exchanged wedding rings! Keep reading to make sure you don't make the same mistakes - or maybe you'll even find a story you can relate to.
He Questioned Her Fidelity and Her Pregnancy
First comes love, then comes marriage, and then comes the baby in the baby's carriage, right? For many people, this is what they strive towards - and this was the case for U/Sufficient_Barber906 and her husband. However, they struggled with fertility, and it took years for them to get pregnant. And while the wife thought her husband would be happy, the first question he asked her was, "Is it mine?"
At first, she ignored it - until she got pregnant again, and he asked the same question. It was then that she realized she had married the wrong person, as she had never given any reason for him to question her fidelity.
When He Almost Killed the Dog
Planning a wedding ceremony is stressful, but have you ever brought home a new puppy? Looking after a new dog is something that requires time, attention, and patience - but U/ttthelovewitchhh felt confident knowing that she could go to work while her husband stayed home to look after the puppy. However, she soon realized this confidence was misplaced when she returned home to find burn marks on the floor where her puppy had chewed through a phone battery.
As her husband ignored the puppy and played computer games, he also ignored the small fire that was burning in their living room. Thankfully, the puppy survived the ordeal - but the marriage didn't.
A Toilet Seat Got in Between Them
It's not uncommon for married couples to fight. It's a natural part of life and something that can almost always be worked out. But what happens when that argument is over a toilet seat? U/kamalii02's husband woke her up at 3 a.m. screaming in her face, complaining that she had left the toilet seat up on purpose - even though she no longer used that particular bathroom due to previous arguments.
As he shouted in her face, she realized that she would never make him happy, and vice versa. " I realized I was always going to be belittled, yelled at, and put down my entire life if I stayed."
When She Complained About Bottled Water... That He Walked 12 Blocks to Buy
Married couples should love and appreciate what the other person does for them, but sometimes that just doesn't happen. When U/eeksabekabooks "walked 12 city blocks in 95-degree weather to find her bottled water because she didn't trust a water purifier at a hotel," he hoped that she would appreciate such a gesture. Unfortunately, she didn't even say thank you. Instead, she complained that the water wasn't cold! At that moment, he realized his marriage was over.
No matter how hard he tried to make her happy, she never had a smile on her face. He was faced with an impossible task, and he decided to quit while he was ahead.
He Purposely Went Out of Town for Business Every Year on Her Birthday
Everyone wants to spend their birthdays with the ones they love, right? This is a day to celebrate and a day to have fun with friends, family, and spouses. But U/MapHistorical7368 realized her marriage was doomed when her husband conveniently planned business trips around her birthday to avoid spending time with her. She added, "he always worked during our anniversaries, too." After 11 years of marriage, these business trips became a little too suspicious.
Although she confronted him about it, he simply told her that he wasn't romantic. "But when I see him put so much effort to make others happy, it hurts so bad," she said. So, she asked for a divorce.
She Lied About Their Daughter's Dog Allergies
It's normal for people to get jealous, but sometimes that jealousy goes too far. U/ynotfish realized that for himself when his wife claimed that she had taken their daughter to an allergist and that she was allergic to their pet dogs. So, she told her husband that they needed to get rid of the dogs for their daughter's sake. But wanting to get a second opinion, he took her to see his cousin - who just happened to be an allergist.
Not only had she made up the allergist's results, but she had even scratched the walls and blamed it on the dogs, hoping that he would get rid of them once and for all.
She Said She Didn't Find Him Attractive
They say that love is blind, but there's no harm in finding your husband or wife attractive. And when U/Seandouglasmcardle, who thought he was in the best shape of his life, complimented his wife on her looks, he had hoped that his wife would say it back. But when she stayed silent, he realized that he couldn't remember a time when she had complimented him. So, he asked her whether she even thought he was attractive.
When she said no, he asked why she had married him in the first place. She said, "I didn't think it was important at the time." It was then that he realized the marriage was over.
When She Purposely Showed Everyone All the Food in Her Mouth
Whirlwind engagements can be exciting, but many people forget the seriousness of exchanging wedding rings. It's incredibly easy to get caught up in a love story, and U/keptman77 realized that for himself. He got engaged after a few months of dating long distance and didn't really know the woman he was marrying. And shortly after their wedding ceremony, he realized that he didn't actually like the person he had married!
He realized this when his new wife ate some cake, chewed it a bit, and then opened up her mouth to show everyone the half-chewed cake in there. Five years later, they finally divorced.
Wife Told Him He Couldn't Exercise Anymore - And Then Cheated on Him
Everybody has their own likes and dislikes, and romantic partners should appreciate the fact that their other half has their own hobbies and interests. And while U/JD054 loved his mornings jogging with the kids in a running stroller in front of him, he was confused when his wife sat him down and told him that he wasn't allowed to exercise any longer. But, unfortunately, that wasn't the worst of it.
He later found her cheating on him in his car, which is when he decided that he couldn't take her negativity any longer. So, he ditched her in favor of a happy life.
When He Expected Her to Clean the House Despite Her Mandatory Bedrest
Although U/Neverinfocus was engaged and not married when she realized she was with the wrong person, her story is a shocking one. That's because her doctor had prescribed her mandatory bed rest after having a very serious miscarriage. But despite this, she still decided to do everything she could to look after her infant son to take some of the pressure off her husband when he came home from work.
But when he got back, he didn't appreciate her support or how this broke her bedrest rules. Instead, he looked her straight in the eyes and asked, "Why aren't the f------ dishes done?"
She Learned Her Husband and Baby Daddy Only Married Her for the Green Card
Many people dream of getting to their 25th wedding anniversary, and one woman felt extremely lucky to be celebrating such a milestone with her husband. But when she received a large stack of divorce papers in the mail just a few days before their anniversary, she didn't count herself so lucky. The papers had come completely out of the blue, and he hadn't mentioned anything about divorce before that moment.
She soon learned that he only married her because he wanted a green card, and then he felt he had to stick around when she fell pregnant. After that, though, he became tired of living a lie.
When She Figured Out He Was the Reason She Had No Wedding Guests
While marriage is the joining of two souls, you're still two individuals - which means you can have your own hobbies, interests, and friends. But when U/emortens_liz got engaged to her fiance, she realized while she was planning the wedding ceremony that she no longer had anyone to invite. During their relationship, he had forced her to push away everyone close to her to the point where she could only invite immediate family.
This was a big red flag to her, and she noted, "It hit me like a brick. I spent all my time placating his problems." She didn't want to live the rest of her life like that, so she didn't.
Years Into Their Marriage, He Told Her She Was Originally "the Other Woman"
Relationships form in so many different ways. And while there's no doubt that relationships formed on the back of cheating can last, this wasn't the case for one couple. He was a nasty man, and on one occasion, he shouted in her face, "Guess what? I dated her before you, so YOU were the other woman, sweetie! I CHOSE YOU! Show some gratitude already!" This was news to his wife and something that took her by surprise.
It was at that moment that she questioned everything their marriage had been based on and realized that she hadn't been happy in years. Plus, she always had a hunch that he'd cheated on her.
He Was in Love With Her Twin Sister the Whole Time
Married couples get letters through the mail all the time, but one woman was shocked to receive divorce papers from her husband in the mail just shy of their 25th wedding anniversary. Of course, she immediately turned to her husband and asked what was going on. He said, "All these years, I've been living a lie. I never loved you." This didn't make sense to her. Why did he marry her in the first place?
Well, he answered that question, too. "I always loved your identical sister, but because she was already married with kids, I settled for the next best thing. You. Now that she's newly divorced, I'm going to make a move."
When She Screamed and Called Him a "loser" at Their Wedding Reception
Your wedding ceremony and reception should be filled with love and laughter, but that wasn't the case for U/burkechrs1 and his former wife. They had their wedding reception at a casino, and they wanted their guests to have fun and gamble if they wanted to. But when his new wife walked over to him and demanded $500 to gamble, he knew he had to compromise. He didn't have that kind of cash on him, and he wanted to save some for their honeymoon.
His new wife didn't take too kindly to this and started screaming in his face, telling him that he was a loser and that she regretted marrying into a broke family. "We divorced five months later," he confirmed.
He Said She Was Less Important to Him Than His Parents and Nephews
Marriage shouldn't consume you, but when you commit yourself to someone for the rest of your life, you'd like to think that you'd be a priority to them. But when U/folklovermore_'s husband told her that she was number three on his priority list after all of his nieces and nephews and his parents, this planted a seed of doubt in her mind. She understood that there were other people in his life, but he just didn't give her the time of day.
Although they stayed together for six months after that conversation, the marriage ultimately ended when he cheated on her. With the trust broken, she couldn't stay with him any longer.
When He Didn't Mention Her in His Wedding Speech
After the wedding ceremony and during the reception, it's not uncommon for the bride and groom to make a speech. This was no different at U/LBelle0101's wedding, and she was excited to hear what her new husband had to say about her, their family, and their big day. But while her husband mentioned their daughters and even the bridesmaids, he didn't mention his new bride once during the whole speech.
She added, "First night of our honeymoon, I got horrendously sick, and he left me alone in our room to go watch something on the big screen on the beach."
She Cheated While He Was in a Coma
Marriage means sticking by your partner in sickness and in health, and one guy hoped that his fiance would stick by him when he had a car crash and was in a coma for three months. And while he was excited to wake up and see her, she was less than impressed. In fact, she accused him of faking the whole accident and of cheating on him with another woman.
As if that wasn't enough, he found out two weeks later that she had actually been having an affair. She'd been dating their neighbor since the start of their relationship - even while he was in the coma.
He Ditched Her for His Bros During Their Honeymoon
After the engagement, the wedding ceremony, and the exchange of wedding rings, couples then have the honeymoon to look forward to. But U/gridironbuffalo had a feeling that her marriage was a bad idea almost as soon as they said, 'I do.' As they made their way to Greece for their honeymoon, her new husband shouted at her in public when their bus didn't arrive. To make matters worse, he then decided to ditch her.
But he didn't go off on his own. He had convinced her to let his two best friends go on honeymoon with them, too, so he went to hang out with them instead!
When She Left Him and Their Five-Year-Old Child Home Alone While He Was Unconscious
Teamwork makes the marriage dream work, especially when one person is ill. When this happens, the other person has to step up to the plate and take care of things while the other person recovers. But when U/seeafish came down with a 104-degree fever and would regularly pass in and out of consciousness, his wife decided to leave him to go shopping. Not only that, but she left him to look after their 5-year-old child.
Despite being so ill, he had to take his child to a birthday party - and he was very unwell. And while it took him another few years to divorce her, this was the first nail in the coffin.
She Found Out He Had a (very) Cold Heart
Your spouse should be the person you rely on when times get tough, and when U/Tahity1986's aunt passed away when she was just 54 years old, she hoped that she would be able to rely on her husband for support. After all, she was absolutely devastated by the news, and she felt as though her whole world was crumbling. But instead of offering her a shoulder to cry on after the funeral, he said, "Well, that's that. We can move on now."
As he went to play his computer games, she realized that her husband had a cold heart that would never warm up. So, she decided that she wasn't going to try anymore.
She Emailed Her Dad "I Wish He Wasn't Here" During Their Honeymoon
When many people get engaged, they skip forward and start dreaming of where they can go on their honeymoon. When Ph.D. student U/Mtt76812 got married to his fellow Ph.D. student wife, he was looking forward to their relaxing and cultural honeymoon in China. But he got a rude awakening when his new wife told him that she wanted to do some research while they were there. For the next two months, she completely ignored him.
Then, he spotted an email on her laptop that his wife had written to her father, "stating she wishes I wasn't there on the trip - our honeymoon." It was then that he knew it was over.
He Refused to Cook Ever Again
Marriages can be hard when the equilibrium is off - especially when one person is employed and the other isn't. In these cases, you'd expect the unemployed person to take over basic household chores such as shopping for groceries, cleaning the house, and cooking dinner. But when U/FrankieLeeG returned home after a 13-hour shift to find that her unemployed husband hadn't done any of that, it's fair to say that she was pretty annoyed.
Although her husband had cooked pasta for them, the first thing he said to her was, "Don't expect me to cook again; I'm too busy." Not long after, she divorced him.
She Just Never Actually Liked Her High School Sweetheart
The idea of marrying your high school sweetheart is often romanticized in movies, but those who have actually married their high school sweethearts will know that it's not all hearts and roses. U/picodegallo4119 grew up in a small town and felt pressured to marry her high school sweetheart, even though she didn't actually like him as a person. And while she saw red flags before their engagement, she agreed to marry him anyway.
During their wedding ceremony, she knew that she was making a mistake, but she decided to go through with the marriage anyway. In the end, they divorced just one year later.
Her Husband Wanted to Drink and Play His Life Away
When you've swapped wedding rings, you often find yourself hanging out with other married friends. And that's exactly what happened to one couple. They would occasionally get together on Saturday nights to play cards and drink games, and the wife loved this socialization during the early stages of their marriage. But when her husband was asked where he saw himself in ten years' time, his answer didn't fill her with confidence.
Instead of saying that he wanted to travel the world with their children or strive towards something more impressive, his answer was "at this table playing cards with the same people."
Her Husband Controlled Her Whole Life
Married couples are a team, but they need to be a healthy team where the people involved are also allowed their independence. However, one woman didn't have that during her marriage. Instead, everything from her phone to her emails was monitored, and her husband even controlled every penny she spent during the day. He would bring up these things when he came home from work, making it clear that he was in charge of her.
He also told her that she wasn't good enough and that she needed to do better. In the end, she decided to take back her independence and leave him. "Best decision of my life," she said.
She Refused to Ever Apologize
Human beings will never get along all the time, which is also the case in marriages. But married couples need to learn how to compromise, think about the other person, and apologize when necessary. And when U/Newplasticactionhero's ex asked him to answer the door when she mistakenly heard what she thought was the doorbell, she apologized for making him get up when he didn't need to. But he soon realized that was the first time she had ever apologized.
"After more than two years, I realized that was the first time she ever apologized about anything," he explained. With that realization in his head, he finally understood why the relationship wasn't working.
He Read Her Private Diary Entries
It's not uncommon for spouses to be annoyed with their other halves. That's all part of being human, and everyone has their own way of dealing with these annoyances. Some talk it out, others have an argument, and people like U/Defiant-days vent about their other halves in a private diary or journal. But while she assumed that he would never read it, he somehow managed to guess the password and read everything she had ever written.
He ultimately forced her to delete everything bad she had written about him, and while she hoped that he would change his ways after reading the entries, he didn't take on anything that she wrote.
He Was Having an Emotional Affair Over Texts
While the idea of your partner having a physical affair is something many people don't want to think about, emotional affairs can be just as bad. U/Valiantlycaustic realized that for herself when she realized that her husband was having an emotional affair just six months after their wedding day. Not only that, but he regularly sent the woman he was having an affair with screenshots of her text messages, and they made fun of her.
When she saw these text exchanges herself, she knew that she'd made a mistake in marrying her husband. And she didn't want to be with someone who treated her like that.
When He Got Way Too Drunk at Their "dry" Wedding
Everyone has their own ideas when it comes to planning a wedding, and one bride wanted to make sure that her wedding was a dry one due to a history of alcohol abuse in her friend and family group. And while her husband agreed to this request, that didn't stop him from taking a trip to the store halfway through their wedding reception to stock up on liquor. Before too long, he was incredibly drunk.
In the end, she had to drive her new husband home herself in her wedding dress, and he passed out as soon as he dropped onto the bed. That was the beginning of the end for them.
She Realized Her Husband Wouldn't Take No for an Answer
It's no secret that couples often make their partner the priority in their lives. But in certain situations, these priorities have to change. This was the case for U/whatthengaisthis, who had to put her work first when her long-term boyfriend rang her demanding advice on some land that he intended to buy. But despite her insistence that she needed to get on with her day, he wouldn't take no for an answer.
He told her that her life and education were "wasteful" if she couldn't help him immediately, which is when she realized that he made her very unhappy. So, she left him.
When She Figured Out It Was a One-Sided Relationship
Couples have arguments all the time, and sometimes it's about the little things like doing the dishes and cooking dinner. And that's what U/aslightlyleakymess argued about with her boyfriend. After spending all day at school and trying to juggle a full school schedule with household tasks, she ultimately decided to ask her boyfriend to take on some more responsibilities around the house. However, this didn't go down well with him at all.
In response, he told her, "Your happiness is not my responsibility." And that's when she knew that she was in a one-sided relationship and that she needed to find someone who did want to make her happy.
He Wasn't Her "Noah"
If you've ever watched The Notebook, you'll know that the love between Ally and Noah is one filled with passion, intensity, and devotion. This movie couple was meant to be, and for that reason, so many people strive to be just like them. This was the case for U/Awkwardpanda75, who watched the movie and told her husband that she wanted a love like theirs. However, her husband was quick to shut her down - stating that love is about paying bills and going to work.
As if that wasn't enough, he even told her to go to church and get a new hobby! She divorced him shortly after, and before too long, she found her very own Noah.
She Gave Him No Affection
Maintaining a marriage while both parties are on active duty must be incredibly hard, and U/phazonxiii and his wife knew that they'd struggle to keep their marriage alive. But, as far as he knew, they were both willing to put in the work to make it last. And while they were physically intimate every so often, he soon realized that there was no affection there. She would roll over immediately and turn her back to him.
Eventually, she blocked him on social media and filed a motion to divorce him. When he asked why, she said that she knew she didn't want to marry him before they exchanged wedding rings. But "she hoped I'd grow on her."
When She Realized He Didn't Know Anything About Her
The person you marry should be your everything. You should know everything about them and know all of their likes, dislikes, dreams, and nightmares. But one day, U/Secure_Orange2855 suddenly realized that she didn't know what her husband thought of her, apart from the fact that she was pretty. He didn't ask her anything about her thoughts or her feelings, and he knew nothing about her past or her future plans.
She said, "I didn't feel special. I just wanted to feel some sort of connection. I wanted our souls to meet. He seemed incapable." So, she decided to end things.
His Wife Wanted to Spend More Time With Someone Else
Many people hope that their husband or wife will also be their best friend, and that's what U/shader_m wanted. At the beginning of their relationship, he knew she was his soulmate. He got "butterflies in the stomach whenever I saw her, got a text from her, heard her voice." And while they were together for eight years, he noticed a shift in her when she wanted to spend more time with her friend than him.
When their marriage eventually ended, he soon discovered that his ex-wife had started up a new relationship with this friend just a week after they separated. So, he knew he'd done the right thing.
She Was More Interested in Her Colleague
Although physical intimacy isn't the most important thing in a marriage, a quick change in the level of intimacy you have with your partner can be a red flag - and this was the case for U/ColdCole81. When he and his wife stopped being intimate, he knew that something was up. After looking through her internet history, he found that she had been spending hours every single day looking through the photos and posts on her male colleague's social media pages.
They split up shortly after, and three months later, he spotted her with her male colleague, looking very cozy outside of a pub. So, he knew he'd made the right decision.
When He Got Way Too Jealous
People experience mistaken identity all the time, and when one woman was on her dream vacation with her husband, she experienced this in a bad way. As a man walked into the cafe they were at, he mistook her for the woman he had married a few years ago. It was clear that the man was confused and not in his right mind, but her real husband didn't like the interaction at all.
He got incredibly jealous, and she saw a side to him that she had never seen before. She didn't like that side, and she knew she couldn't live with someone with such a bad temper.
She Was Miserable About Everything
It's no secret that some people struggle more with life. While some live a happy-go-lucky lifestyle, there are others who are plagued with anxiety and stress. And while it's always a good idea to find someone who lifts you out of these funks, you also need to be aware of how your emotions can affect other people. And when U/curiouswindowz realized that, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get her to stop being miserable, he knew he had to end it.
Not only did she make him miserable, too, but she also didn't take the time to think about him at all. She didn't engage in any of his interests and instead focused on herself all the time.
He Constantly Belittled Her
While some people knew they wanted a divorce well into their marriage, U/magicimagination444 knew it when she got engaged. Instead of being happy for their future together, her fiance took the opportunity to drag her down and bring to light all of the things he didn't like about her. In fact, he even gave her a list of things that he wanted her to change about herself. Because of this, she felt as though she didn't deserve him.
"He was emotionally and psychologically abusive, and it took me a total of 8 years to realize it," she said. But luckily, she was able to get out and start a new life.